The ‘ But I can’t find people like me!’ Mantra

There are many reasons why we isolate ourselves, but there’s a particular trait of well-meaning, passionate, creative humans who are keen to find their tribe and get on with making the world waaaaay more beautiful, fair and harmonious…

The state of being ‘unable to find people like me’ is a form of rigidity, a mental prayer that emanates into the world… It’s a sign of our having decided inside our self, that we are ‘different’ (perhaps even ‘better than’, or in the least ‘more’ something or other than) those around us: we’ve defined a line, a wall, a void, between us and ‘anyone’ or ‘everyone’, which in essence precludes our connecting with them.

This preclusion of connecting with others is one of the most central issues to our contemporary suffering and unhappiness: it very physically sets us apart and keeps us from reaching out or making the link between us and them.

And the fact that we’ve categorised literally ‘e v e r y o n e’ around us – using whatever genre, political label, ethics field, set of values or non-values, etc, etc – means that we’re working mentally rather than whole-body-mind-spirit-edly.

Our tendency to overuse our ‘logical’ mind, whilst under-using our immense creative symbiosis (with all other humans, life forms, elements and objects on this planet and beyond…) is a conditioned behaviour very much tied into the capitalist, consumerist ‘reality’. We begin with a general idea like ‘I am isolated’, and we build evidence for it and feel into it as it’s a modern theme of our culture.

We eventually amass an overwhelming amount of ‘proof’ that we are ‘unable’ to find friends or confidants, collaborators or even good neighbours, not realising that it’s our own unwillingness to interweave and inter-be, that is making it so. This fits in beautifully to the collective mythology of us being separate individuals in our little box homes, and having literally nothing to do with even those that we live in close proximity to…

Over our lifetime, this atrophies our natural, inherent connectedness – like a bound foot accepting the limitation of the bandages which is preventing us from walking, leaping, running.

In this podcast I talk at length as to why this is all another aspect of our self-imposed smallness; how our connectedness comes through humility, willingness to listen and see and feel, and an unrelenting passion to keep connecting until the other person opens up.

podcast on the ‘But I can’t find people like me!’ mantra

The conditioning of our being ‘different’ and ‘separate’ is one of the most powerful tools in our disempowerment: it keeps us from freeing not only our own immense positive-creative field, but it blocks our working collectively and freeing up the natural force of good that comes from humans working together for a more beautiful world.

Much love to you all!



Join me on Patreon to get access to everything I do, as my treasured long-term supporter.

Go to Vacation With An Artist to learn how you can visit Guardia Sanframondi in Italy, and work with me in my studio. You can also find up-coming online workshop dates and tickets here.

Visit the Living Gift pages on Teachable, to get immediate access to my courses and podcast series.

2 thoughts on “The ‘ But I can’t find people like me!’ Mantra

  1. Katie Sabry says:

    I enjoy all your podcasts, takes me a while, and I listen when I’m working on a mosaic rather than a painting, I find it totally focuses me.
    I could relate to your story about living in the high rise, something similar happened when I spent a month on the Caribbean Island of Saint Lucia. My first week was amongst wealthy white expats (I shan’t go into detail about the shocking racism), the rest of my stay was in a very poor fishing village, away from the famous tourist areas. (allegedly ‘not safe’ ‘drugs’ In the beginning the locals were stand offish, (thinking another rich white person) after I started doing art projects in the village schools with very limited resources, I found I was absorbed into the community. Such kindness, hospitality and support at every level. I could quite happily have stayed forever!
    About rubbish etc, Cyprus is similar. The back carpark was filling with masks, gloves, drinks containers, you name it. So I quietly kept tidying up, made friends with the municipal street cleaner, hung up a couple of pot plants. Within a month zero litter and my plants haven’t been nicked. Lots more stories. You put it very nicely into words.
    Much love dear


    • claregallowayartist says:

      Dearest Katie – thank you so so much for this wonderful response… YES YES YES… And gosh, yeh, I remember the huge issues with litter and dumping in Cyprus, 20 yrs ago… Stass at the college of art in Lemba had this convoluted theory (that only a man could have ;-)) about how it was a positive thing to have the plastic and rubbish everywhere – because it meant that they were real and honest, and unashamed of their refuse (!!!) I love your domestic alchemy… I’m taking up the baton again here, but it is SOOO hard to explain to the patriarchy that WE ALL PLAY A PART in collectively both educating our neighbours and in cleaning up no-matter-what. It’s simply what has to be done – and if it isn’t done, the place degrades and degrades accumulatively. ❤ So glad to know other wise creative people in the world who GET THIS!


Write a response here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.